And then we do exactly that, the back end kicks sideways, the horseshoe grille points at the barrier to our right, I try and apply some opposite lock but we’re past smooth inputs, this is full arm-flailing panic stations. We don’t even need to be going fast.” Thanks Andy, comforting. Yeah, watch out for that standing water by the way, we’ll just aquaplane and rotate and there’s zero run-off here. My trusty co-pilot: “I’ve only ever raced around the Nürburgring once actually, three laps in a Jaguar MkII. That guide is Andy Wallace – Le Mans winner, Bugatti test driver, the man who steered a McLaren F1 to 240mph and a Chiron to 304mph. Luckily, I have an expert guide for all 154 corners next to me, a mental comfort blanket for when the stress gets too much. Thank goodness we’re not in the world’s fastest car on the world’s most infamous racetrack, each bend lined with a bank of photographers praying for us to have an off. Anyone with even a loose grasp of physics could have foreseen that a £2.7m, two-tonne, 1,578bhp leviathan on cold Michelin Cup 2s clawing at nothing but water would be a bit of a handful – but I had to go and utter those three tiny words, didn’t I: “It’ll be fine.” Top Gear has done some stupid stuff in its time, but this takes the biscuit.Īt least we’re not anywhere too public, should a costly Bugatti/barrier interface occur. Forget understeer and oversteer, how about no steer? I’m not totally without blame here. I’m dialling in every degree of steering lock and millimetre of throttle travel with the caution of a safe cracker, but we’re still all over the place. I’m in the process of having a 10-minute accident and there’s not a massive amount I can do about it, besides cling on and wait for the crunch. That whole ‘everything slows down when you’re about to die or have a massive shunt’ thing? It’s true – this entire lap has turned into one of Chris Harris’ signature, gratuitous slo-mo drift shots.
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